2010年中考英语满分作文2(7)

    (1) 节约用水非常有必要。
    (2) 目前所存在的浪费水资源的不良现象。
    (3) 如何做才能节约用水(提出 2 ～ 3 个建议)。
    3．可用素材
    (1) 词汇：
    without，necessary，turn off the tap，bathe，throw away，suggestion，waste，save water，throw away
    (2) 句式：
    ① There would be no life without water．
    ② Some people often forget to turn off the tap，leaving the water running all the time．
    ③ When they bathe，they may spend a long time．
    ④ They throw away the bottle before drinking all the water．
    ⑤ It is high time that we should save water．
    ⑥ Only by doing so，can we save water and live happily in the world．
    4．注意事项
    ① 所谈论的话题为当今社会的热点话题，文章所用的时态要以现在时态为主；
    ② 审题要认真，不能偏离主题；
    ③ 结尾处所提的建议应该积极向上，切合实际。
    满分文展示 1
    Act now to save water
    Water is very important to us．(①No one can live without water，so saving water is very necessary for us．)
    However，(②a large amount of water has been wasted every day．)Some people often forget to turn off the tap，(③leaving the water running all the time．)Besides，they spend quite a long time bathing．Even worse，they throw away the bottle before drinking all the water．
    Therefore，something must be done to save water．(④In the first place，)when we finish washing clothes，we can use the water to clean the floor．Secondly，after washing face，we can water flowers with the used water．Finally，we should remember to turn off the shower when washing our hair．
    (⑤Only by doing so，can we save water and live happily in the world．)
    旁批
    1．此句话道出了节约用水的必要性：没有水人类就无法生存。
    2．该句运用了被动语态的结构，避免了因主动语态带来的句式单一的特点，给人以“柳暗花明又一村”的感觉。
    3．此句融合了现在分词的两种用法，leaving... 在句中充当结果状语，running 在句中充当宾语补足语，这样的用法不仅渲染了文章句式，而且平衡了句子结构。
    4．in the first place 及后面的 secondly、finally 的使用使文章层次清晰、行文连贯。
    5．此处用一个“only + 介词短语”的倒装句式结束全文，表明节约用水给我们生活带来的好处。
    满分揭秘
    本文内容充实完整，表达充分准确，语法结构多样。在描述浪费水资源的不良现象和提出节约用水的建议时，有效地运用了 besides，even worse，in the first place，secondly，finally 等连接词，使文章层次感非常强。此外，作者所提的建议真切合理，能与读者产生共鸣。可以说，这是一篇非常朴实而又成功的文章。
    标准范文
    Act now to save water
    Water is very important to us and a must for all living things．
    Water is the fundamental to all living things．Human beings can't live without water．
    But people often forget to turn off the tap after washing hands．Some people spend too much time having a bath．And some people throw away battles without drinking the water up．
    In order to save water，I have some advice．First，we should turn off the tap after washing hands．Second，we should make good use of every drop of water．Saving water is saving ourselves．Let's do all we can do to save water．