2010年中考英语满分作文3(8)

    (2) 提出的建议要切实可行；
    (3) 文字要简洁明了，直接说明意图；
    (4) 行文连贯，完整地表达题目中所给的所有内容要点，不能遗漏要点；
    (5) 本文以一般现在时和第二人称为主；
    满分文展示 1
    Dear Steve，
    I've learned about your problems．I think (①you should communicate with your new classmates as much as possible．) (②For example，you can take part in group work in class and express thoughts of your own)．(③Talking with your new classmates at break is also a good way to build up friendship)．(④You'd better greet your classmates actively，treat them friendly，help solve some difficult problems)．
    Last but not least，(⑤it's necessary for you to take part in class activities)，such as sports meetings and singing competitions．(⑥Believe in yourself，I'm sure you can make it)．
    Best wishes，
    Diana
    旁批
    1．此处 communicate with 和 as much as possible 两个短语的正确使用，给阅卷老师留下了美好的第一印象。
    2．本句中的三个短语 for example，take part in group work，of your own 的合理运用很出彩，显示了小作者扎实的语法功底。
    3．talking with sb.，at break，to build up friendship，last but not least 的使用，使句意更加清晰，使文章层次分明、更有逻辑，使行文流畅。
    4．You'd better(你最好做某事)，给对方提出建议比较婉转，greet，treat 和 help solve 的正确运用，使句子简约出彩。
    5．形式主语 it 的恰当运用，较好地避免了句子的头重脚轻，使句子平稳，彰显小作者的语言运用能力。
    6．believe in yourself(自信)，make it(成功)的使用，使本文的语言表达更加地道。
    满分揭秘
    本文内容充实完整，语言清新自然，选词准确，用词地道。小作者能够恰当地组织内容要点，使文章逻辑性较强，层次分明、行文连贯；所提出的建议切实可行，文字简洁明了，语言表达得体；as much as possible、of your own、last but not least、make it(成功)、believe in yourself(自信)和 you'd better(你最好做某事)、形式主语 it 的恰当运用，显示了小作者扎实的语法功底。
    标准范文
    Dear Steve，
    I've learned about your problems．I think you should be active in group work in class and be brave enough to express your ideas．Try to talk with your classmates at break．If you want to get on well with your classmates，don't forget to say hello when you meet them．Being friendly and helpful is also very important．You need to take part in all kinds of class activities，such as sports meetings，football games and singing competitions．I'm sure you will soon be among friends．
    Best wishes，
    Diana