2010年中考英语满分作文1(6)

    Why is it so hard for them to understand me?
    Josh
    假设你是 Emma，你的笔友 Josh 给你写了一封电子邮件，向你倾诉他在家里的一些烦恼。请根据来信和提示，给 Josh 回一封电子邮件。先说说你的看法，再给出建议，并适当发挥。
    提示：1．内容要点：(1) 看法：在父母看来，我们仍是孩子；父母这样做是为了保护我们。
    (2) 建议：给父母写信谈谈你的想法；主动帮你父母做些力所能及的事情。
    2．回信应包括以上所有提示的信息，做到行文连贯，不要逐字翻译。
    3．词数：不少于 80。开头和结尾已经写好，不计入总词数。
    Dear Josh，
    Thanks for your e-mail．I have ever had the same experience．I even had a fight with my parents．But now，I understand them．______．
    I hope this helps!
    Emma
    名师解析
    1．试题解读
    本次写作任务要求写一封电子邮件，具有鲜明的时代气息，属于应用文体裁。因格式已给出，因此本次写作的关键应放在结构的安排和语言的组织上。就邮件内容而言，本文要求写一封建议信。此题要点明晰，容易成文，因此考生可根据题目中的内容要点合理地整合信息，在表达上要注意句子衔接自然、语言流畅。
    2．写作信息要点
    (1) 告诉 Josh 自己对他所面对问题的具体看法：在父母看来，我们仍是孩子；父母这样做是为了保护我们。
    (2) 给 Josh 提出解决问题的具体建议：给父母写信谈谈你的想法；主动帮你父母做些力所能及的事情。
    (3) 自然地给出结尾。
    3．可用素材
    (1) 词汇：
    in their eyes，protect，have difficulty doing，write，do something
    (2) 句式：
    ① Although we think we've already grown up，we are still children in our parents' eyes．
    ② They wanted to do everything that they could to protect us．
    ③ If you have trouble talking with them，you can try to write them．
    ④ You can help them do some housework whenever you have free time．
    4．注意事项
    (1) 所提出的看法和建议必须和题目要求一致，不能肆意增加过多要点；
    (2) 要注意合理分段，避免层次不清；
    (3) 精心组织篇章结构，巧用各种典型句式。
    满分文展示 1
    Dear Josh，
    Thanks for your e-mail．I have ever had the same experience．I even had a fight with my parents．But now，I understand them．Although we think we've already grown up，we are still children in our parents' eyes．As a child，we should be aware that (①what our parents do comes from their love for us．)They want to protect us．
    Sometimes，you (②have difficulty talking with) your parents．However，(③there is no need to be worried．)Personally，you can write to you parents，(④telling them you have grown up and need more respect．)I am sure they will understand you and never control everything you do．Besides，you can help them do some housework (⑤whenever you have free time．)
    I hope this helps!
    Emma
    旁批
    1．此处 what our parents do 为主语从句，它的应用丰富了文章句式，提升了文章档次。
    2．have difficulty doing... 意为“在……方面有困难”，此短语清楚而准确地表述了 Josh 和父母交流困难这一问题，由此可见作者审题之认真。
    3．此句应用了固定句式 there is no need to do...，句子表达精湛，同时为下文真诚地提出建议做了很好的铺垫。
    4．此句选用现在分词作伴随状语的结构代替普通的并列句，用法规范，效果非凡。
    5．whenever 引导的让步状语从句的应用再一次彰显了考生不凡的英语实力。
    满分揭秘
    这是一篇考场佳作。本文作者能够做到认真审题，并严格按照题目内容和要求展开写作。文章条理清晰，语言地道，内容中肯。在写作过程中，作者巧妙地利用了 have difficulty doing，there is no need to do...，whenever you have time 等短语、句式。此外，主语从句、非谓语动词作伴随状语的结构在也浮现于本文，可谓令人大饱眼福。
    标准范文
    Dear Josh，
    Thanks for your e-mail．I have ever had the same experience．I even had a fight with my parents．But now，I understand them．We are growing up，but often，it's hard for our parents to see this．To them，we are still children and they want to protect us．
    Sometimes，it's hard for you to talk to your parents．Here's an idea：Write your mother and father a letter．In the letter，tell your parents what you are thinking about．Then maybe they will understand you better．After your parents read the letter，try to talk to them．In your free time，you'd better do something you can to help your parents．For example，you can help your parents with some housework．