2010年中考英语满分作文1(7)

    What's more，you can describe your friends to your parents and tell them more about you and your life．
    I hope this helps!
    Emma
   
上海卷
    中考真题
    以“我为自己感到自豪”为题写一篇不少于 60 个词的短文。(标点符号不占格)
    (注意：短文中不得出现任何人名、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分)。
    以下内容仅供参考：
    What kind of person are you?
    What makes you proud of yourself? (Give an example／examples．)
    Why are you proud of yourself?
    名师解析
    1．试题解读
    这篇中考书面表达是一则开放式作文，题干中仅提供了标题“我为自己感到自豪”，没有给出具体的写作内容，且从所给题目来看内容也比较宽泛，无疑给考生写作带来一定的困难。该书面表达有一定的难度，它需要考生充分发挥想象力，充分利用所提供参考的三个方面，找到自己身上的闪光点，并结合实例说明自己能引以为豪的个性品质，从而构思出与众不同的优秀作文来。
    2．可用素材
    (1) 词汇：
    be proud of，myself，work hard，successful，carry on，give up，afraid，try one's best，realize one's dream，come true
    (2) 句式：
    ① I'm proud that I can make contributions to our country．
    ② Helping others makes me feel very satisfied．
    ③ My dream came true at last after I tried my best．
    ④ I used to be a girl who didn't dare do anything on my own．
    ⑤ With the help of my friends，I overcame all kinds of difficulties and achieved my goal．
    3．注意事项
    (1) 对于开放式作文，动笔前应就所给主题进行深入思考，切忌拿起笔就写；
    (2) 根据题干要求写作中需引用具体实例，避免空洞的说教；
    (3) 写作中应注意叙述与抒情相结合。
I'm Proud of Myself
    I'm a shy girl，and I don't like to talk with others．(①Especially I am afraid to talk in public．even answer my teacher's questions in class．)
    However，last term an English oral competition really (②made me so proud of myself．)Our English teacher told us that we would have an English oral competition．Many students took part in it (③but I didn't．)You know，I'm always a shy girl．But then my English teacher talked with me and encouraged me to take part in it too．At last I agreed．(④I practised and practised．)What do you think? I was second．
    (⑤I believe，nothing is impossible if you try your best．)(⑥Also I am very proud of myself．)
    旁批
    1．句中两个副词 especially，even 起到了很好的突出强调作用，反衬出了作者害羞的个性品质。同时，也为下文写作作下铺垫。
    2．make 后跟有复合宾语，这是一个复杂结构，该句以上学期的英语口语大赛为例说明我为自己感到自豪。
    3．这是一个省略表达，使语言更为简洁。
    4．动词叠用，突出了作者不屈不挠的精神。
    5．作者感悟，富有哲理。体现了作者细腻的内心和超强的逻辑思维能力。该句为全文的点睛之笔。
    6．最后突出主题：我为自己感到自豪。
    满分揭秘
    作者开篇说明自己是一个害羞的女孩，甚至都不敢在课堂上回答老师的问题，但通过一件具体事例的描述作者改变了自己。事例说明的是在老师的鼓劲下自己战胜自我，参加了英语口语大赛，并获得第二名的好成绩，因此作者为自己感到自豪。全文有理有据，行文自然合乎逻辑，尤其作者的感悟更是使文章主题得到升华。通过阅读文章，一个害羞而又坚强，思维敏锐的女孩跃然纸上。
    标准范文
I'm proud of myself．
    I am an outgoing boy．However，one year ago，I was so shy that I dared not speak in public．As a result，my classmates often laughed at me．That troubled me a lot，but I didn't know how to change myself．
    Then，last year，my school was going to hold the 60th anniversary celebration．My teacher recommended me to be the host because of my sweet voice．That was too terrible．I wanted to give up．But my teacher encouraged me and helped me practice again and again．The moment came．When I faced so many people，I was still a little afraid．I remembered my teacher's words："Believe in yourself!"．So I took a deep breath and began my self — challenge．Everything went well．When my classmates congratulated to me，my eyes were filled with tears．
    From then on，I haven't been shy any more．I have been willing to take on challenges．I am proud of myself．